Hey! [Track 20] | Conscious Dating vs Casual Hooks: The Evolution of Attraction

Looking Back to Move Forward - May 2026

Looking back at old writing is always an intense trip through time. Today, I am pulling a piece out of the vault from way back in 2011, which was an explanation of my spoken-word poem called "Hey!". Back then, I was capturing a raw, late-night encounter and trying to make sense of the spark between two people. It is fascinating to see how the core human desire for connection remains steady, even as the world around us shifts completely.

The Evolution of Connection in a Digital World

Since I first posted this, the entire dating landscape has undergone a massive sociological shift from spontaneous bar conversations to transactional app swiping. My perspective on relationships has evolved deeply through my work in social psychology, a topic I unpack regularly over at SociologyOfLove.com. While the youthful energy of casual attraction is completely natural, I now look at connection through a much more conscious lens. True compatibility requires moving past superficial traits and digging into shared values, emotional intelligence, and mutual respect.

It is easy to get caught up in the physical excitement, but real intimacy always starts with genuine dialogue. If you want to dive deeper into how this philosophy impacts my creative journey, head over to the LyceumRecordz.com blog to see posts about Eric’s albums and Eric’s business perspective. To support this independent art and gain access to a deeper community, make sure to get a membership at fiense.com/memberships. Now, let us take a look at what I originally wrote fifteen years ago and see where the journey toward conscious love began.

Original 2011 Post: The Meaning Behind "Hey!"

Hey! is a poem that is about finding a compatible mate, rather than strictly just someone who is physically attractive.

A bazaar is an old and universal term meaning store or market. I am trying to paint a picture of an older black woman named Charese who comes over to me from across the bar to try and 'pick me up' for the night. She is smart and open-minded! She shocks me by being selfless, buying a couple drinks just to have a good time, and dedicating them to cleaning up the gulf--which, when I wrote this, was being filled with Oil by the BP spill. However, it is impossible to ignore that she is looking at me with wanting eyes.

Eventually, after the drink settled in, I made up my mind to pursue a one-night stand and go home with this beautiful cougar. We stumbled into a taxi, falling all over each other and fornicating in such a manner that the driver got a show of affection on the way there. Upon arriving at her place, we go running up the stairs, anxious in anticipation to engage in sexual debauchery, fornication, and intercourse. The third verse is supposed to highlight the intimacy and halarity of sex. And, when it comes down to it, she just has to like your 'sausage.' And "Jimmy hat, gotta fit it" is telling you to STRAP UP and wear a condom when you have sex!

The last verse really illustrates the point of the story. It's about finding a lover, and not just someone to have sex with. "Lovers train (their partner as to) what (it is) they seek." It's not that hard to figure out what I'm saying, the key to a man's heart is... And, the one who is for you should "get you," find similar things funny, and hence be able to make you laugh.

But, "It starts with 'Hey!' How you doin' today? Conversation the way to tell whether to stay."